What if I became blind?

What if I become useless?

What if I break down?

What if I am not good enough?

I'd admit to a lot of insecurities in my life... No talent, not much of looks, not much of anything, really... I feel i don't even have a personality of my own. When i try to be sincere, it just comes out all superficial. Not much of eyes, not much of muscles, not much... not much...

"Your grace has found me JUST AS I AM...
EMPTY-HANDED but alove in Your hands...
Majesty..."

Thank You for Your love, yet there is much to think about, much to settle within myself and settle with You.

Gillianwrote.
11:35 PM

Things have been going well for me... i think. Honestly, some things 3 months ago i wouldn't have thought would happen has happened. Struggles that my heart grapppled with, struggles that my mind grappled with and troubles that i, as a student grappled with. God is faithful indeed. His grace, His mercy, Himself.

"How great is our God, sing with me, how great is our God, and all will see, how great, how great, is our God.."

Well, there is a person i want to dedicate this poem to... ok, i mean... i'm just gonna come up with this here and now as i write this entry. But i feel that i want to dedicate a poem to u... so here goes (hope it'll turn out ok...)

The first time i knew you,
I didn't think of much.
Then a friend of mine
Started nudging and such.

I started turning my head
To see someone of God
Someone who God used,
To whom i gave more thought.

I fought within me
For quite a while
For fear of pain,
For fear of trail.

But then i turned
To God above
Asked Him if u were
For me to love.

He opened doors
And led me through.
Trembling I followed Him,
All the way to you.

And now i see
My good great God
Who gave me you
When Him i sought.

"Bones of my bones,
Flesh of my flesh"
My fear is gone,
My heart refreshed.

Bring me as a holy sacrifice,
Clean and unblemished.
Bring us to the foot of the cross,
Our hearts as one untarnished.

The sovereign king,
On whom our eyes cast.
Love Himself must take control,
Of me, of you, of us.

Written by Gillian

Gillianwrote.
2:45 PM

It's been a long time since i've gone to the miracle service... I'm longing for God to touch me everyday. I want His love refreshed everyday in my life... We sang "above all pow ers, above all kings... above all nature and all craeted things..." Funny what goes through my mind even when worshipping. I saw power as an abstract concept... How there be an 'above all power'? What is above power? Power can't even be measured since it is an abstract concept. Yet the Lord is above all power and everything else. He is of so much... so much we cannot perceive with our human intellect. Jesus is that. Jesus is so great we are not able to put into words. Yet, we are called children of God. Equals to Jesus. Equal to that wonderful, unconceivable greatness.
Then we sang " Amazing love... how can it be, that you my king would die for me.." Indeed... one so great gave us the same status as He and even died for us. I pictured, as the song was sung, me being sentenced to crucifixion. My arms already tied together, guards going to bring me out to nail me... then the king, dressed in fine robes, comes into the place, takes off His crown and says to the guards, "crucify me instead".
Oh... how can it be... that you my King would die for me. We are unworthy. So unworthy...
"Your grace, still amazes me... Your love still a mystery..."
Hallelujah... hallelujah.

Gillianwrote.
9:58 PM

My friend, i don't know if you're going to read this, but i know that what i said about you is true.
You've been a friend like no other friend. I wanted to write more, but... well... like why would the guy want to read about all that crap? If it were just for you to keep, I'll write longer. Haha... All I wanna say is, go in and show your stuff!!! Who cares what they think? You're worth more than what any system can determine or reduce you to.
I'll support you whatever the outcome!

Gillianwrote.
12:36 AM

Name: Gillian
Age: 23+
Work: at TOUCH Silent Club
Location: Singapore??

Interests: Sign lang, writing poems, reading, cycling, ice-skating & bowling(though not gd at them),hmm... loads more...

Likes: chocolate, soft toys, flowers(esp pink & white lilies),most animals, mee siam(haha), lotsa food, bubble tea, friends!!!, Schindler's List, Nanny Diaries..

Dislikes: raw onions, pig inerts, winter melon, brinjal, escargo, lotsa raw stuff, when pple don't keep their word, insects... etc etc

08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010

All My Favorite Links::
Funtown e-cards
QuoteZ
GameZ
Orisinal Games
cute clips
pretty clothes!
Link 6


All My Main Links::
To my friends
Guestbook
Other Links


All My Friends who blog::
SaNdra
DaRyL
LynNeTte
CeYu
HiLLiyaH
GLaDys
GerMaiSe
Kenny Tan
Kiang Khiang
JEaNne
NisHita
RaCheL
JoN LeonG
YaNcHanG
RenKaNg
fLaggY(Yong Qi)
RHCF

Things that can cheer me up at least 95% of the time:
1) Chocolate
2) Bubble tea
3) Looking at the sea
4) doing fun things i've never done in my life, esp with good friends
5) a certain someone with intials Y.C.



WISH LIST:

~mogu cushion... the yellow star..? I want 100, rmbr?
Mogu


~mildly scented perfume

~bags - for sch and for going out

~clothes

~precious thoughts figurine *blink blink*

~black pants? or some kinda long pants...

~my friends!!!


~Christian book: "John Sung"

~mp3?? hmm...


~Christian books... think i want the book of bible promises

~ Christian CDs