Gil & her 2nd choice of cake.. Coz no more choc marshmallow @ secret recipe!!! *sobz*

Lunch! 2 dishes shared by 3 so we cld save space in our tummies for the abv.

Remember not to bring too many valuables to JB (bfs/gfs or potentials not included...)

And yes, look at the yummy food and drool...

A whole day's work... of shopping!!! Aunt Anne's is RM2.99 a piece!

Acting cute on the train. Point at the noseys!! Sorrie lah... lack of ideas for poses...

It's a bird, no, it's a plane... No! It's Lois Lame and Shany!>>>

Gillianwrote.
11:35 PM

FOR ALL THE GIRLS OUT THERE
As I was reading 1 Peter 3, it spoke to me. I've felt insecure many times before about myself... That perhaps i'm not pretty enough, my nose is too big (mummy keeps saying that and it doean't help), i wear spects (coz of my astig & u know how girls are supposed to look better w/o spects... i think i do anyway) etc etc... But this passage just reminds me of our inner beauty that really matters to God.

v.3: Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. (and contact lenses.. heh)
v.4: Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

and i also reflect upon what Rachel (yes, u dear) told me abt Proverbs 31, The Wife of Noble Character. Basically, it is about what we as women do and how we are rather than how we look like. It is indeed our hearts that matter to God.

Yes, it is hard to put physical appearance aside and look solely at inner beauty but that is what God perhaps calls us to do and what God judges ultimately. It is not just also how we look at ourselves, but also at other pple who may be more beautiful on the outside than ourselves.

GUYS, u also have a lesson to learn... that it is also not about how macho u look or how hunky/handsome a are. The good Lord is looking not at how good-looking u are on the outside but the good that stems from the inside.

One thing i have yet to learn is to be confident in who i am and who God made me to be. May those who are struggling with this also see themselves as how God sees them.

Gillianwrote.
9:32 PM

Random thought: Sometimes, u don't whether u are seeing the light at the end of a tunnel or an approaching train.

Gillianwrote.
2:43 PM

Sometimes... i wish i could make my heart cold, numb. Coz i ask myself... what if u get hurt again? What if this turns for the worse? Perhaps it is my past experience (and your thoughts of the past too) that haunts us. I really don't know. I ask myself if i should numb my heart or at least try to... But then i think i felt the Lord speaking to my heart.
My interpretation at this point. Not sure if it's right though..
"If someone (or smthg, say life's circumstance) strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also..."
In essence, i felt the Lord saying, "Love even though it may hurt, even though it may turn out bad. Love with all your heart. Don't change the way you love someone just coz it might hurt.... coz I loved the world even though some may not love me in return..."
Oh man... it is hard. So hard... i'd say for the both of us... but i feel the Lord saying... "If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also... even though u don't know if it'll strike u again or perhaps, there'll be an apology and a kiss on the other cheek."

For the person involved... no, u are not hitting me... life is. But it really is what we choose i life and how to life it despite our circumstances, that God sees and judges. *sigh*

Gillianwrote.
8:15 PM

Fight One:
Gillian got stabbed. Open wound.

Fight Two:
Gillian got stabbed again at same spot called the heart but by a different opponent.

In-between fights, angels try to heal the wounds but it's only temporary. And Gillian hopes this thing is only temporary.

End of stabbing and start of healing? To be continued...

Gillianwrote.
10:18 AM

Glad i went out with daryl today... Thanks daryl! Was kinda feeling a bit down and a friend adviced me to go out. Went to Candy Empire today! Was cool lah... so many different kinds of goodies that u don't usually see. My paradise though the stuff are not too cheap. Then... i played pool! First time! According to daryl, i'm not bad at it, esp since it's my first time. Still, that prawn won me all four games. *sobz* Oh well... just wanted to blog abt today. Send me those pics, daryl!

Gillianwrote.
9:33 PM

In times like these where there is so much to think about, we tend to forget to give God praise, especially when we don't feel like it. Perhaps that's Satan's ploy. Well, here i am and i'm going to tell the world (of bloggers at least) what God has done for me.
He has been faithful. I really don't know where my email for my YCK pri's lesson went to the night before and was desperate. I called them in the morning with like only 2 hrs to spare before i had to leave home. I refreshed my email constantly but did not seem to receive it. It was the first time then that i used the outlook serach button and mazingly found it there. Apparantly, my outlook was set to some weird format for what have must been months. I only found that out when i got home that day after the lesson. God was there.
And that day was the day i could sommewhat get the class to do what they were supposed to, though with shouting and what not.
Through these 6 days, the Lord has also provided my friends who are willing to listen, concerned enough to ask how i'm doing. Both Christians and non-christians alike. In this time, my eyes have also been opened to other people's burdens and other people's hurts and disabillities, even strangers'.
Through this, I know that i will not compromise who i am and who i ought to be in the Lord. Tempted i am sometimes to be someone i'm not, but i know who i am is what God wants me to be and perhaps to an even more extreme extent. I have to give thanks to the Lord despite my circumstances. I just somehow know i must.

Gillianwrote.
9:48 PM

Was watching the Oprah show... there was this 12 year old boy, Paul Robbins who sang like i never could sing, the song that perhaps i need right now and which has always been one of my favourites: Mariah Carey's HERO.

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

-It's amazing how that hero seems to portray God, that lives in us, that holds us when we're broken and mends our broken hearts. It is so hard to trust, so hard to lean on Him and i'm still a lost girl trying to find my home in His embrace.

Gillianwrote.
6:37 PM

Let me cry till my tears run dry
Let me cry till i can feel no more
Let me cry till i feel so numb
Till my heart ain't sore

Let tears run like the stormy season
Let tears run like a flooding river
Let tears run like i am the whole world's
water-keeper

But then i don't want that
I don't want that at all
I don't wanna cry
I don't want tears to fall

Make my heart smile again
Make ur heart skip ten beats
And do a somersault
Everytime our eyes meet

A silent cry
A quiet scream
A desperate reach
From deep within

I'm stuck in the middle
Of God knows where
When instead i wanna be stuck
Anywhere with you
With you
Except here

Written by Gil with a crack in her heart, hoping that somehow, somewhere, the glue will come.

Gillianwrote.
3:57 PM

It's times like these when i really feel somehow blessed with friends i can talk to about my problems... Those who i have talked to and those who have offered, i think you all so much... u know who u are.
I managed to make myself go out today and i'm happy i did, with hillie and jeanne! Thanks for the support gurls! It was nice just seeing u all again and talking abt uhm... ok, u all talking abt stoopid soccer guys and now i know Kaka! So cute! haha... and hillie, u're not gonna throw that slipper... But yeah... all of u made me feel that i have pple to lean on and pple who will stand by me. Jeanne, u not obese lah... Stop complaining. Haha... U're pretty the way God created you and i know ur heart is just one of a kind!
I felt really broken yesterday and i still wonder how i pulled myself through 6 hrs in church. Almost broke down during speedlight worship service, but thank God i could control it. I know it sounds weird to measure my emotions this way, but i actually missed my sunday bubble tea! If i miss sunday bubble tea, i usually do it intentionally becoz i've been drinking too many cups during the week or i'm sick. It was neither, and i only realised and rmbred it today. Haha... Stoopid gil. Anyway, for my brudders and sistas in Christ, do pray for me and if u know who, u-know-who.
Love all my friends! *hugz*

Gillianwrote.
10:42 PM

I can only ask God why this is happening... At certain points, i fail to believe that this could happen. Don't know what happened or what didn't happen. To the person involved in this, i don't know how to go about this, i'm as confused as you are. Still, like i said, i cannot find a reason to say that i have no part in any of this because relationships involve responses and it takes two hands to clap. I am not alright but i hope that things will turn out to be as we try, even if and when either party doesn't feel like it.
I will say that i don't know if i may, for the next few times we meet seem as if i'm trying too hard; but i question myself whether in effect it really is just myself letting my fun side have a chance coz i know that i tend to be fun with fun people but more serious with serious pple. I honestly have never let my fun side have a chance but always tried to force my head over my heart in everything, which makes me 'rationalize' that what i'm doing is stupid even though i know i'll enjoy it and really make myself more happy and joyful.
For friends like lynnette, u really are the symbol of fun and i must say that u have taught me what fun is like. I'm uptight most of the time and because of what has happened, i really find the need to let my hair down and enjoy that crazy part of me which is locked up somewhere in me by my logical reason and so-called mature self. Oh... people who do know me know that i have a fun streak somewhere that can pop out randomly.
I just feel so weird now... confused. I don't know what to do. Can fun really be natural for me? I have no answers and the only thing i know i can do is to trust God. "All things work for the good of those who love Him." It's hard for me to trust, but i'll try... It's hard for me to think positively, but i'll try... It's hard for me to even think of these thing, but i'll do it and pray about it and try to do what i can about it. And tough it's hard, it does take 2 hands to clap and so i hope you'll try too. May God be with us, in us and work in us for His glory.

Gillianwrote.
10:32 AM

Name: Gillian
Age: 23+
Work: at TOUCH Silent Club
Location: Singapore??

Interests: Sign lang, writing poems, reading, cycling, ice-skating & bowling(though not gd at them),hmm... loads more...

Likes: chocolate, soft toys, flowers(esp pink & white lilies),most animals, mee siam(haha), lotsa food, bubble tea, friends!!!, Schindler's List, Nanny Diaries..

Dislikes: raw onions, pig inerts, winter melon, brinjal, escargo, lotsa raw stuff, when pple don't keep their word, insects... etc etc

08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010

All My Favorite Links::
Funtown e-cards
QuoteZ
GameZ
Orisinal Games
cute clips
pretty clothes!
Link 6


All My Main Links::
To my friends
Guestbook
Other Links


All My Friends who blog::
SaNdra
DaRyL
LynNeTte
CeYu
HiLLiyaH
GLaDys
GerMaiSe
Kenny Tan
Kiang Khiang
JEaNne
NisHita
RaCheL
JoN LeonG
YaNcHanG
RenKaNg
fLaggY(Yong Qi)
RHCF

Things that can cheer me up at least 95% of the time:
1) Chocolate
2) Bubble tea
3) Looking at the sea
4) doing fun things i've never done in my life, esp with good friends
5) a certain someone with intials Y.C.



WISH LIST:

~mogu cushion... the yellow star..? I want 100, rmbr?
Mogu


~mildly scented perfume

~bags - for sch and for going out

~clothes

~precious thoughts figurine *blink blink*

~black pants? or some kinda long pants...

~my friends!!!


~Christian book: "John Sung"

~mp3?? hmm...


~Christian books... think i want the book of bible promises

~ Christian CDs