-ME-

Monday, May 29, 2006

My senior pastor said smthg that really grabbed me at the shoulders and looked me in the face, so to speak. It was something really bold to say, considering pastors don't usually want members to leave the church.

He said, "Are you in this church because you were called or are you just here? Because if you're not called, then you'll run away when problems arise." I think he was referring to problems as a whole and what has been happening... Ally, the girl who can see and converse with Jesus. She's been tested 7.5 hrs straight about the bible happenings by our senior pastor. God brought her to heaven and showed her everything from Genesis to Revelations but without explaining anythign to her. She didn't know who Moses is, but she saw the parting of the red sea and the plagues. She knew the colours of stones next to the throne in Heaven. According to Revelations, they were jasper and carnelian - green and red with white streaks, exactly what she described without knowing what they were.

She knows truth when tested. About the manifested body, about God's presence. She's only been a christian 3-4 months now. This whole thing is controversial and even some in the church don't believe.

Anyway, the point of this entry is to ask ourselves: Have we really asked God about our calling to our respective churches? It's scary... if this church were not my calling, i wouldn't know where i ought to be...

Gillianwrote.
9:46 AM

An empty house,
An empty heart,
The taste of life
Now so tart.

Wind that blows
But no birds sing;
Try not to
But tears do sting.

A Mona Lisa Smile
One untrue
Is all i offer
With a day this blue.

Perhaps it's my imagination
Perhaps it's not
Perhaps my life does stink
Oh, eyes are hot.

Turning, twisting,
Trying to stop thinking.
Thinking too much,
Heart a-sinking.

I wish someday
All problems would disappear
Where liberation were real
Where none would tear.

The day will come
But probably not soon enough.
So how now, brown cow?
Ride the waves so rough?

Maybe i think i can't smile
Gloomy clouds set 'round
Maybe if i tried
I'd hear a happy sound.

Birds singing in the breeze
Trees sway in the wind
The sea calm, at peace..
Joy is from within.
And without.

Gillianwrote.
9:03 AM

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Ok, i promised Jon this a long long time back coz he tagged me. Reading his blod i realized i had forgotten all abt it.
Alright... 6 weird things about me? Not a problem! Just gotta choose what i want to reveal, tt's all. Hahaha...

1) When i sleep, i must stick my feet out the blanky... I like my feet cool and that's the way it is...
(and u're thinking: Gil is weird...)

2) I cannot sleep in public places - buses, trains, libraries... but can sleep on tour buses, a freidn's house (most of the time) and other places where perhaps there is a sense of security.

3) I don't like cheesecake (weird for a girl, huh??)

4) I hate muscle men... seriously... too hard... not nice to hug and pretty scary. Haha... Guys need a bit of flab! I mean a biiiit.

5) I hate eating birds' nest. Yes, mum calls me stoopid coz i don't.

6) Somehow, when i drink bubble tea, the red straw always attracts me... i always end up taking a red straw... somehow....
(now u're saying... is she from another planet??)

There u go, redbean... Gilybean signing off!!!

Gillianwrote.
12:35 AM

Halo my dear friends and my dear blog! Haha...

Been feeling a little lost lately... It seems like it's when u're most free when u don't spend time with God. There's this lazy thing in me that keeps procrastinating spending time with God. With LPC coming up, i think that i should get right with God again. From somewhere within me or from somewhere out there, i feel God saying, "Gillian, of all the things that i've given you... wealth and health, friends and family, love and grace... All you can keep, except for one thing which i want back - your heart."

As i attended cellgroup today, i sensed God beckoning me back to Himself again. The thirst to spend time to worship Him and just enjoy His presence.

One thing i realized... Kiat Hui and Ivan knows Yanchang as the hockey guy who's a nice guy... haha... i'm like 'huh?' no lah, kidding, my dear. Oh well... Ching Lu lah... ask me in the car... *tsk*
Oh well, mum knows i have a bf but dunno who... dad... dunno if mum leaked out to him, but i haven't told him... Oh well...

This is a super ugly photo of us, but... yeah... ok, at least i look farnie. DnD night.

Celebrated Douglas' bday yesterday with my division leaders... Farnie ducky... Hahaha... ate ice cream till he wanna puke...

And this is what i ate last night for dinner... Now u see why my spare tyre is inflating... *sigh*

That's all, i guess... gotta go back to Daddy Up Dere before i sleep. Sis' sclerosis situation improved to 37.4. Continue to pray!!! Nite!

Gillianwrote.
12:12 AM

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I know why i feel this way
But i'll say i don't
I know why i feel this way
But i'll still side you.

It could be bcoz of you
Could be bcoz of myself
Could be bcoz if i don't
Then i wouldn't know what to do.

Already i don't.
I don't know how to say it.
I don't know if i can.
I don't know if i will.

All i want was happiness.
What i don't want is deja vu,
Left on the shelf.
Dusty.

Gillianwrote.
9:39 PM