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Saturday, March 05, 2005


Deja vu: 3 times in less than a year and yet i still am back to square one. Then again, should i change something? I've always wondered about the future. What it would be like. Where this relationship is heading. Honestly, it doesn't seem to be heading anywhere, but then... i keep holding on. I have the power to let go, though he does too. But, i know he won't. Maybe that's why...
Perhaps it's easier to let pple hurt me than me hurting others. The infamous(to one person, at least) qn "What would u do if you weren't afraid?" has been popping up in my mind ever so often now. Honestly, i don't know. My ans: I don't have an answer because i am. I am always afraid. Always afraid of hurting pple. ALWAYS. Is that the reason why i don't want to let go? I'm afraid of hurting pple, especially someone who trusts me and probably has faith that i'll love him always? That i won't let anything come between us? True, i will never be disloyal... unless... unless what was once in my heart is gone and it's just that it has infected my mind to make me think that i can't do it. Still, there are some things that can't be changed, i think. I think.
Maybe i'm born to be alone. I get miserable easily. I may sometimes be too sensitive to stuff. Confused but yet certain in some things, it's hard to be me. Summary: when i think of the future, this is what is in my thoughts: blank. That's what's eating me up. Slowly... I don't know if i can feel for him again, though there i sense that there's still something i miss. I don't know if it's him or just being together or something else. As u can see, i'm so unsure of stuff myself. ahhhhh... i shall shut up in 2 meanings of the word.


Gillianwrote.
5:29 PM






.tagboard.

.ME.

Name: Gillian
Age: 23+
Work: at TOUCH Silent Club
Location: Singapore??

Interests: Sign lang, writing poems, reading, cycling, ice-skating & bowling(though not gd at them),hmm... loads more...

Likes: chocolate, soft toys, flowers(esp pink & white lilies),most animals, mee siam(haha), lotsa food, bubble tea, friends!!!, Schindler's List, Nanny Diaries..

Dislikes: raw onions, pig inerts, winter melon, brinjal, escargo, lotsa raw stuff, when pple don't keep their word, insects... etc etc



.archives.

08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010

.links.

All My Favorite Links::
Funtown e-cards
QuoteZ
GameZ
Orisinal Games
cute clips
pretty clothes!
Link 6


All My Main Links::
To my friends
Guestbook
Other Links


All My Friends who blog::
SaNdra
DaRyL
LynNeTte
CeYu
HiLLiyaH
GLaDys
GerMaiSe
Kenny Tan
Kiang Khiang
JEaNne
NisHita
RaCheL
JoN LeonG
YaNcHanG
RenKaNg
fLaggY(Yong Qi)
RHCF

.others.

Things that can cheer me up at least 95% of the time:
1) Chocolate
2) Bubble tea
3) Looking at the sea
4) doing fun things i've never done in my life, esp with good friends
5) a certain someone with intials Y.C.



WISH LIST:

~mogu cushion... the yellow star..? I want 100, rmbr?
Mogu


~mildly scented perfume

~bags - for sch and for going out

~clothes

~precious thoughts figurine *blink blink*

~black pants? or some kinda long pants...

~my friends!!!


~Christian book: "John Sung"

~mp3?? hmm...


~Christian books... think i want the book of bible promises

~ Christian CDs



.credits.

creator:sandrath
brushes:adobe photoshop CS2,brusheezy,PS brushes