Stoopid stoopid stoopid stoopid. I'm angry at myself. I can't get things done. My cell group demands so much commitment, especially with Lewis setting the standard. Not that the standard is bad. It's just too good. He knows them all better than i do... I'm feeling super inferior. I can't fit the bill, can't give up so much time, can't give up so much money for them. Can't give so much affection? I'm just too conservative. Hope i can change that. But what the heck... i've been trying to change that for ages... Since i was in secondary school and i think even from primary school. I know i love... i love too much. I love but can't show it. It tirtures me somehow and i just don't know what to do. $20 for CDs and name cards from me alone. I can't spare the cash but i can't make lewis pay all of it. Shit i hate myself. I needf to work and earn money... then i won't have time for them. And RHOC will take up so much time. God... hat am i supposed to do???
Maybe i'll just quit hall. I'm damn serious. Maybe next sem i'll go to extension A. I'm dead serious. I cannot commit to hall activities and cell group and school work and friendship. It's just too much for me to handle. Unless... God shows me a way out. I dunno what i'm gonna do. I just don't. I have no time to read Christian books, no time to talk to lewis but i have to. I have so much to learn from him, so much to know about this cell group. I want to know about this cell. I want them to love me like they do lewis. I want to be close to them. I want to help them grow. So much to handle, so much to do, so much to commit to. Sorry RH, i'm gonna put God and my members first. Too bad. Really. I'll try my best to fulfill my roles here, but if i can't then my priorities have to come first. Gonna train myself to sleep less, till i need 6 hrs of sleep or less. Currently i need at least 8. U stupid Satan... i hate ur guts. Go away. God, give me the strength i need. Give me time management, give me courage, give me confidence, give me so much love i can't be shy to give it away. GIVE ME FOR I ASK IN JESUS' NAME. Gotta study now. Anoit me, bless me.

Gillianwrote.
2:33 AM

Name: Gillian
Age: 23+
Work: at TOUCH Silent Club
Location: Singapore??

Interests: Sign lang, writing poems, reading, cycling, ice-skating & bowling(though not gd at them),hmm... loads more...

Likes: chocolate, soft toys, flowers(esp pink & white lilies),most animals, mee siam(haha), lotsa food, bubble tea, friends!!!, Schindler's List, Nanny Diaries..

Dislikes: raw onions, pig inerts, winter melon, brinjal, escargo, lotsa raw stuff, when pple don't keep their word, insects... etc etc

08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010

All My Favorite Links::
Funtown e-cards
QuoteZ
GameZ
Orisinal Games
cute clips
pretty clothes!
Link 6


All My Main Links::
To my friends
Guestbook
Other Links


All My Friends who blog::
SaNdra
DaRyL
LynNeTte
CeYu
HiLLiyaH
GLaDys
GerMaiSe
Kenny Tan
Kiang Khiang
JEaNne
NisHita
RaCheL
JoN LeonG
YaNcHanG
RenKaNg
fLaggY(Yong Qi)
RHCF

Things that can cheer me up at least 95% of the time:
1) Chocolate
2) Bubble tea
3) Looking at the sea
4) doing fun things i've never done in my life, esp with good friends
5) a certain someone with intials Y.C.



WISH LIST:

~mogu cushion... the yellow star..? I want 100, rmbr?
Mogu


~mildly scented perfume

~bags - for sch and for going out

~clothes

~precious thoughts figurine *blink blink*

~black pants? or some kinda long pants...

~my friends!!!


~Christian book: "John Sung"

~mp3?? hmm...


~Christian books... think i want the book of bible promises

~ Christian CDs