Saturday, August 05, 2006
Just came back from a dinner that cost $448 (somewhere there) for 8 pple... Grandma's bday.. It got me thinking. Do we need such good food? Won't we just forget after a while? While half the world are undernutritioned and malnutritioned, i was sitting at the chinese restaurant eating food that didn't seem that special. That's more than $50 a person if u do the math. I kinda felt guilty sitting there.
I thought even more. Gone are the days of super luxury. When we used to go to restaurants ever so often. I can feel the difference now. More simple food, but still not that simple. However, i am thankful for this change.. Thankful that my parents are not earning as much anymore, coz i've really learnt to treasure things, treasure food, treasure things that some pple will never get to even taste/experience once in their lifetime. It has humbled me, made me more aware of others around me, made me less complacent and in a sense, a better person.
Perhaps i even thank God that my parents give me little pocket money as compared to my friends who in fact are actually less well-off. This is discipline. I know it taught and still teaches me to be more careful with what i have and to appreciate all the little things in life. Yes, girls do dream of being princesses and tai tais and i have said definitely more than once that i want to be one. I've even dreamt of one day marrying prince William when i was younger (hahaha). However, on hindsight, perhaps i really don't want that. I don't want to be oblivious to the world around me and the ignorant of the reality that exists. Perhaps in a weird sort of way, ignorance may be bliss, but it is not the kind of thing that builds a person and makes him/her grow in character.
Wealth is a comfort zone on it's own. Literally. I thank God for opening the eyes of my heart. However, i know i'm not doign enough. Not doing what i actually can for those around me. Sometimes i think i need a scolding from myself. The selfless half scolding the selfish half.
I wish i were perfect. Wish no one could find fault in anything i do. Struggling to strive towards that. Trying to strive towards unconditional love when somehow humans are brought up to do things conditionally. This world is full of "only if"s. Yet our calling as Christians are of another dimension, a greater, higher and tougher calling that we cannot answer on our own.
Got nothing else to say coz it's been said. The thoughts i had through a single expensive meal. In an ironic way, i thank God for that dinner that arouse these thoughts in me and perhaps speaks to u too. =)
Gillianwrote.
11:44 PM
